They Grow Up So Fast...

My son turned eight months this week. Eight. Months. How is that possible? I feel like I just found out I was pregnant. Just took him home from the hospital. Just experienced the horrors of breast feeding. Just had a baby, basically. But he's eight months. He's starting to learn to crawl. He's sitting up on his own. He's reaching for and playing with his toys.

But those aren't the things that made me realize he's growing up. It was the miracle of him holding his own bottle this morning.

My son has always refused to hold his bottle. Wouldn't even try. And I'd think, "Won't it be nice when I can just hand him his drink and he can do it himself?" Now... I don't know what to think.

I love that he's gaining independence and learning to do things for himself, but a little part of me is a bit sad. I guess it signifies the beginning of him not needing his mama as much anymore. I know that's just silly, but I think it hit me like a ton of bricks. He won't always need me like he does right at this moment.

He's going to get bigger and learn to walk, talk, read, and form opinions. He's going to go to school, make friends, learn things his father and I could never teach him, get his heart broken, face challenges, and become a man.

My little boy will become a man.

It's amazing.

And terrifying.

All because he held his own bottle.

Embracing the Moment

I recently read an article that revolved around "embracing the moment".... or not. The author listed a few dozen reasons why she was not and wouldn't even begin to think about embracing, and while I don't wholeheartedly agree with her, I could see her point.

Sometimes it's difficult to see a moment for what it is - just a blink of an eye. It's easy to get caught up in a string a moments that ultimately pile on top of each other to weigh us down. It happens to everybody, and honestly, when they are carrying the weight of those moments, the last thing they want to hear is to embrace them.

As a new mom, I get it. I totally do. Who could really appreciate getting puked on by your baby right after you're dressed and ready for work? Or how your husband puts his dirty clothes right next to the laundry basket? How can you embrace those freakin' moments?

I've been challenging myself to do just that. Maybe I don't adore experiences like the ones mentioned above, but I've been learning how to let them go. For me, that's been the first step. Letting go of my frustration has allowed me to embrace other beautiful moments that may have gone overlooked otherwise.

It's difficult. It really, truly is. I'm probably the least patient person on the face of the planet, and that is one of the main reasons I decided to set this goal for myself. I don't want my son to see my impatience and take it as behavior he should copy. Not only that, but I just want to be happier with this life I've made for myself.

I'm very lucky, and although I feel overwhelmed sometimes, I want to always remember that. Don't get me wrong. I strongly believe that people are allowed to feel what they feel despite their circumstances. Just because someone out there may be worse off than you, it doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to feel a certain way.

I was just tired of feeling overwhelmed all of the time. Changes had to be made.

So I'm learning to let things go, and as a result, I'm soaking up the wonderful times to be had. I see things much more clearly than every before, and I'm having so much more fun. My family is closer than ever before because I decided to change my perspective.

I'm not going to be cliche and tell you to do the same. Do what you want. Sometimes it feels good to just bitch about the annoying things that happen on a daily basis - trust me, I could be the queen of bitching. But it can become a habit and that habit can put up a wall, and before you know it you're missing out on all the good stuff because you can only focus on your frustration.

I can tell you one thing for certain - embracing the moment works. It may be annoying to hear and for stubborn people like me, difficult to do ... but it can change your whole outlook and seriously make your life more fulfilling.

Speaking from experience here, people. Not preaching - I promise.

Maybe it ties into living passionately. Taking time for yourself. Remembering who you are other than a mother and a wife.

All I know is that little steps make a HUGE difference. Whether it's letting go of the fact that husbands cannot change out a toilet paper roll to save their life or laughing at the fact that your son constantly wants to roll over while you're changing a dirty diaper.

Those little things can change your whole day.



Cheers!